I had been simply treating water, settling on surviving and avoiding pain rather than being actively involved in seeking out life.

There is always a part of my mind that is preparing for the worst, and another part of my mind that believes if I prepare enough for it, the worst won’t happen.

Without science, there would be no such hope.

I think that for thousands of years people have made the observation that there are certain kinds of extreme depressive states that seem to be more likely to produce philosophers, people in the arts, unusually brilliant scientists.

I realized that it was not that I didn’t want to go on without him. I did. It was just that I didn’t know why I wanted to go on

One of things so bad about depression and bipolar disorder is that if you don't have prior awareness, you don't have any idea what hit you.

There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you're high it's tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars....But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against-you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable....It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.