[Adoption] could turn you into an exquisite comedian. Ask Richard Pryor's ghost.

Do what you love in your community.

[The rumor that Leonardo DiCaprio on set was raped by a bear] was as silly as Lady Gaga bumping him or moving his arm out of the way [at the Golden Globes]. People straight be bored.

The fact of the matter is, you can't do comedy unless someone is behaving badly. Otherwise, it's not a comedy.

We've decided [with Jordan Peele] that we need to be on the Internet for a little bit of time every day to figure out what's going on. It feels like we're working. It feels like you're all typing and you're searching.

I'm racist against non-black people.

I want people to say, "Oh my God, I'm laughing out loud at television."