Having been a cheerleader, I know all too well what these girls give up to join forces and compete.

I'm not militant about anything. If there's cheesecake in the house, I'll have some. If I'm in the mood for something, I'll have it. I don't obsess about anything. I could have three or four "cheat days" in a week and then not have dessert for another three months.

If I win, it's because of my natural ability and if I lose, it's because I wasn't trying so hard.

Women's clutches are too small. I open my purse, and with some hydraulic force, a tampon shoots 12 feet into the air.

I think children are like pancakes. You sort of ruin the first one, and you get better at it the second time around.

If you're a waiter and you're waiting on me, you might get five percent, you might get seventy percent. It depends on how bad my math skills are that day.

I had a picture-perfect childhood.