I threw the opening pitch at a Blue Jays game, and after the pitch, the mascot asked me if I wanted him to sign the game ball, which I thought was funny. What would he write? "Best Wishes, Some Guy in a Bird Suit"?"

For some reason the most devoted mapheads seem to be kids.

I always feel a certain sense of reverence in libraries, even small city ones that smell like homeless internet users.

The thing you like/are good at is a sacred thing.

Twitter makes you a comedian in the same way that digital cameras make you a photographer

You live overseas, you see these exotic places and you want to know about them. But, weirdly, it also made me homesick for all these very prosaic places in America.

You watch an old 'Jeopardy!' and the categories alone are very plain. 'Poetry,' or 'Movies,' or 'Physics.' If you watch it now, though, there'll be a theme board where the categories are all Hitchcock movies. Lots more jokes, lots more high-concept categories and questions.