Twitter makes you a comedian in the same way that digital cameras make you a photographer

Sure I have a cell-phone, so I don't have to remember everyone's number anymore, but that really wasn't a core part of my brain.

I would stare at maps of Delaware for hours.

I have always loved maps.

Eratosthenes, the mapmaker who was the first man to accurately measure the size of the Earth, was a librarian.

I threw the opening pitch at a Blue Jays game, and after the pitch, the mascot asked me if I wanted him to sign the game ball, which I thought was funny. What would he write? "Best Wishes, Some Guy in a Bird Suit"?"

I would read the atlas for pleasure. I knew it was weird. It was weird.