Staring into Hugh Hefner' s eyes, I didn't see a man four times my age with ten times more girlfriends than most. Even though I hardly knew him yet, I saw a sweet man who made me feel really good about myself - a true gentleman. It was weird, but in my heart, I felt like he was someone I could possibly trust.

Staring into Hugh Hefner' s eyes, I didn't see a man four times my age with ten times more girlfriends than most. Even though I hardly knew him yet, I saw a sweet man who made me feel really good about myself - a true gentleman. It was weird, but in my heart, I felt like he was someone I could possibly trust.

The crazy thing about television is that you are rarely allowed to grow. You are molded into a character based on some of your strongest traits, and you are forced to stay that way for your entire television life.

After living in the mansion for a year, I did miss dating, and there were times when I was out during the day or at therapy school or even at Playboy parties where I met guys. It's only natural. I needed to have my own life, or I would have gone crazy. But at the same time, I didn't want to disrespect Hugh Hefner or the Playboy name - that always came first.

Nights were hard during my staying at the TV show because while my Playmate friends got to go out and party, I would have to be home by 9 p.m. I'd get a text message from a girl that read, 'Having so much fun in Vegas. Wish you were here! Partying with all these football players,' and that was devastating. I felt so trapped and angry when I was missing out on something good.

Right now I think I'm the smartest I've ever been. I'm doing everything great now and everything perfect. Like with this taxes stuff. I'm getting better at that. I'm making sure everything is a write-off. Every single thing.

I'm 24 years old and yeah, I'm a different person and I'm definitely more mature, but these are the tops that I'm going to keep on wearing.