I try to get in quiet time and book time, but really, the only time I ever get that is when I'm on an airplane - I have a fear of flying, but I actually love flying because it's the only time I can sleep, and it's the only time I get to read.

I was dating a guy once who spoke rudely to a taxi driver. I got out of the cab and walked home. Treat people with respect. I've waited tables, and that's why I just exceedingly overtip. It's exhausting work.

My show is a sensory assault... in a very brief manner - the show is only 25 minutes long.

It can bum you out when your intentions aren't, like, translated properly.

I am leading a war against the British Empire. I'm not worried about what Democratic Party hacks say or do.

They say that true love hurts, well this could almost kill me young love murder, that is what this must be I would give it all to not be sleeping alone

Somebody sent me their tooth, which I now wear as an earring. It's a molar, I think. I love it when people send me body parts.