I had a great time being a salesman because of the pitches that I gave when I was selling shoes. However, I don't think I'm as well versed in shoes as I am in comedy. Being a salesman was all about being a people person, and I enjoy being around people. I also love talking to people - which is why I think I did so well.

Some sarcasm is best told simply.

If you give up at the first sign of struggle, you're really not ready to be successful.

You see some of the weirdest people in Detroit casinos.

My baby is weird man... when he get mad, he gets in the oven.

I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes.

I didn't want to lift weights and get all big; I just wanted to get cut.