I've loved the Internet space in terms of creative content control and ownership, the things I haven't had since I started as a stand-up comedian.

If we do have any iPhone users out there, I have incredibly great news for you. I've developed after about six months and finally perfected and it'll be out on the market soon, an app that you'll all want. It allows you to make a phone call.

I am completely and utterly hooked to all the great shows on A&E and Court TV that are about small town murder.

The law against sodomy is trying to stop homosexual men from enjoying themselves. That's what the law is all about. But this is stupid. What do you do according to the law? You find two men enjoying themselves sexually. You arrest them and throw them in... prison? That outta do it.

If you're not creating, you're waiting.

No one smokes because they like the way it tastes. If we did, they'd make cigarette-flavored cookies, candy, ice cream. What is this? Marlboro fudge with nuts? Give me a scoop of that, willya? She's gonna have the Menthol Swirl with the Camel chip.

As rewarding as a good film role can be, there is just nothing like getting up on a stage and taking an audience for a ride.