I've got friends who didn't vote. I want to smack them upside the head.

I think generally I'm a pretty good person if I had to grade myself. Or toot my own horn.

Girls are always like, 'Oh, you're much better-looking in person than in pictures.' I'm kinda like, 'Er, thank you? I think? As in, I'm not as ugly as you thought?'

There's always a Justin Bieber. Ever since I've been around, there's always been one of him. You know, you can trace it back from how old you are and the boy bands that came along then and the teen sensations and whatnot. And, you know, good for them. There's a few of them that make it out and a few of them that don't.

It's not that I'm Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes now, but I've got my priorities in order.

I make a lot of money. I can take a pay cut. All my friends are taking pay cuts that are in the unions, that are - that are farming in Alabama or whatever it is. I can surely take a pay cut, too, not cutting down my show or - or the people that work for me, I can take a pay cut.

If I was president of the good old U.S.A., I'd turn the churches into strip clubs and watch the whole world pray.