You cannot thrash the person who makes you coffee. It's a rule somewhere.

I was cold, hungry, and in a hole in the ground. But at least I had my elven porn, damnit!

As the joke goes, you don’t have to be faster than the wolf chasing you, just faster than everyone else running away.

I have a name,” I grumped, my stomach pinching me harder. “Yes, but it has no pizzazz. Ra-a-a-a-chel. Rach-e-e-e-eel,” he said, trying it out in different ways. “No one will tremble in terror at that. Oh my God!” he said in a high falsetto. “It’s Rachel! Run! Hide!

Of course I’m shielding her, you broken feather!

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt some sort of dominance foreplay?

It was a nice bit of blackmail that kept him off my back, but he refused to take the message that I wasn’t going to work for him. ’Course, that might be my fault…since I seemed unable to say no when he waved enough money at me.