Never despise a drink because it is easy to make and/or uses commercial mixes. Unquestioning devotion to authenticity is, in any department of life, a mark of the naive - or worse.

Education is one thing and instruction, however worthy, necessary and incidentally or monetarily educative, another.

Your attitude measures up to the two requirements of love. You want to go to bed with her and can't, and you don't know her very well. Ignorance of the other person topped up with deprivation, Jim. You fit the formula all right, and what's more you want to go on fitting it.

A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn't allow it to spoil your lunch.

Hangover cure: Rigorous sex, hydration, hot bath, then "go up for half an hour in an open aeroplane. (needless to say, with a non-hungover person at the controls)."

I'll pour you the first one and after that, if you don't have one, it's your own f****** fault. You know where it is.

Nice things are nicer than nasty ones.