The number-one rule of the road is never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. You will break this rule, and you will be sorry.

And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert

You're the only one that you are screwin', when you put down what you don't understand.

I want you to know I'm an Army brat; I was a captain in the Army and my brother was a jet pilot in the Navy. So I support our troops; I identify with them. But I sure as hell don't identify with the bastards who sent them over there.

There are points in your life, especially if you have creative ambitions, where selfishness is necessary.

I grew up in a time when people believed in duty, honor and country. My grandfathers were both officers. My father was a General in the Air Force. My brother and I were both in the Army. I've always felt a kinship with soldiers; I think it's possible to support the warrior and be against the war.

If God's got a favorite songwriter, I think it's John Prine.