I think it became blurry because I grew up in a very private family. I mixed privacy and secrecy up somewhere along the line. Everything became a secret, and I thought that was how you should live. Lying about everything. The mask I put on as a kid to survive was the funny lady. Then the funny person all of a sudden became harder to do without substances. Substances let me keep the mask on longer. Until it doesn't work anymore and you're just a mess.

Right now one in three teenagers meets the medical criteria for addiction, which is scary. I'm so driven because when I walked into rehab, I was like, "Am I still drunk? Did the guys give me the wrong address? Am I at a summer camp?" And it kills them. Deaths attributed to drugs and alcohol have overtaken all other emergency-room deaths.

I was voted Biggest Ham and Likeliest to Become a Celebrity.

I like people-watching and fading into crowds.

May I say, if you were suddenly put into a woman's body, wouldn't you be slightly interested in your breasts, and why people look at certain parts of you, and why certain parts move like they do?

Yes, creative people are more prone to addiction or addictive behavior. But, equally as prone is your mailman, your mother, your brother, your friend, the guy who does your banking. It's everywhere. The thing that happens in the press sometimes is Whitney Houston. She was just an addict. Just like your uncle Steve.

My fantasy life made me survivor. One day I knew that me, this skinny, ugly girl who was only invited to slumber parties when they were forced to - someday I knew I would be someone. That was my driving goal. It wasn't to be famous. I didn't want furs and signing autographs, I didn't care about any of that. I wanted to be someone other than myself.