Your Olympic Hero is scheduled to wrestle a match against the man they call the big red retard; not that I have anything against retarded people cause I don't. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of retarded fans out there that admire and respect your Olympic Hero, and I wish them well.

Oh its real, its damn real

I teased Randy Orton because he started using my finish, the Angle Slam. I said, 'Hey, I don't mind you using it, but at least give it a name.' When he hits it, the announcers just say, 'Well, he just hit that... thing.'

Not to mention our former tag team champions lost their titles after my good friend Christian was hit in the genitals with a hockey stick by a midgit! I mean enough is enough

I have a little nursery rhyme for all you children out there, something even the Godfather can understand. 'You can prance and you can dance, but when it comes to relations, keep it in your pants.

Wrestlers in the U.S.A. are very aggressive. All they want to do is attack, but they'll make mistakes.

Children love me, dammit!