I'm so happy because today I found my friends - they're in my head.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

America may be the land of the free, but there are definitely more ignorant people there. Most of the population are semi-retarded.

People are coming to shows on the strength of one song. I guess that's the way it goes.

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.

Sometimes I wish I had taken the Bob Dylan route and sang songs where my voice would not go out on me every night, so I could have a career if I wanted.

I'm not gay, although I wish I were, just to piss off the homophobes.