The youngest child in any family is always a jokemaker, because a joke is the only way he can enter into an adult conversation.

You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too. And you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.

If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity; and I would climb to the top of Mount McCabe and lie down on my back with my history for a pillow; and I would take from the ground some of the blue-white poison that makes statues of men; and I would make a statue of myself, lying on my back, grinning horribly, and thumbing my nose at You Know Who.

all that has changed, in my opinion, is that, thanks to television, we can hide a great depression. we may even be hiding a third world war

You develop a style from writing a lot.

The name of the new religion, said Rumfoord, is The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent. . . The two chief teachings of this religion are these: Puny man can do nothing at all to help or please God Almighty, and Luck is not the hand of God.

Anyone unable to understand how useful religion can be founded on lies will not understand this book either.