All these years, I've been opening the window and making love to the world.

There's almost nothing like native Midwesterner anywhere else in the world, except in Asia. They're miracles all in themselves.

The two prime movers in the Universe are Time and Luck.

I was once asked if I had any ideas for a really scary reality TV show. I have one reality show that would really make your hair stand on end: "C-Students from Yale".

When a Tralfamadorian sees a corpse, all he thinks is that the dead person is in bad condition in the particular moment, but that the same person is just fine in plenty of other moments. Now, when I myself hear that somebody is dead, I simply shrug and say what the Tralfamadorians say about dead people, which is "So it goes.

When a man becomes a writer, I think he takes on a sacred obligation to produce beauty and enlighenment and comfort at top speed

[People] want to feel superior, so they imagine we're Bible thumpers and uneducated and all that.