Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself.

No good at life, but very funny sometimes with the commentary.

Don't worry about your father. He's a perfectly contented, self-sufficient zombie.

Now, the engineers and managers believe with all their hearts the glorious things their forebears hired people to say about them. Yesterday's snow job becomes today's sermon.

If you really want to hurt your parents and you don't have nerve enough to be homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts.

We were into the Speedway. We'd take a train out to the Speedway where farmers had flatbed trucks with bleachers on them. They'd park in the infield and we'd sit on those. Our heroes weren't the drivers, they were the pit crews. That's because we were local, and we knew what was going on.

A nice thing about war-not that anything about war is nice, I guess-is that while it's going on and you're in it, you never worry about doing the right thing.