Beer, of course, is actually a depressant, but poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.

We are all experiments in enthusiasms, narrow and preordained.

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

You know, I think the main purpose of the Army, Navy, and Marine Corps is to get poor Americans into clean, pressed, unpatched clothes, so rich Americans can stand to look at them.

I don't reveal to her that I love her. I keep poker faced. She might as well be looking at a cantaloupe, there is so little information in my face, but my heart is beating.

Because we grew up surrounded by big dramatic story arcs in books and movies, we think our lives are supposed to be filled with huge ups and downs. So people pretend there is drama where there is none.

Ignore the awful times, and concentrate on the good ones.