We are what we pretend to be.

The year was 2081, and everyone was finally equal.

That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes.

Of course, socialism is just evil now. It's completely discredited supposedly by the collapse of the Soviet Union, but I can't help noticing that my grandchildren are heavily in hock to Communist China now which is evidently a whole lot better at business than we are.

You know, the Emancipation Proclamation was like giving freedom to domestic animals.

The thing my father was proudest of was the Ayres clock at the intersection of Washington Street and Meridian. That made him so happy. Ayres complained because he wouldn't send them a bill. There was stuff my family had done there - particularly my father and grandfather - that was quite permanent and wonderful.

Historians in the future, in my opinion, will congratulate us on very little other than our clowning and our jazz.