Science is magic that works.

If you really want to hurt your parents and you don't have nerve enough to be homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts.

The computer revolution has allowed white-collar criminals to do what the Mob would have loved to do - put a pawnshop and a loan shark in every home!

I don't reveal to her that I love her. I keep poker faced. She might as well be looking at a cantaloupe, there is so little information in my face, but my heart is beating.

Never schedule a board meeting on Wednesday because it kills two weekends.

I learned how to make jokes because I wanted to give people as much fun as they did, and I guess I did, too.

And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.