Luck is not the hand of God.... Luck is the way the wind swirls and the dust settles eons after God has passed by.

I thought scientists were going to find out exactly how everything worked, and then make it work better.

The name of the new religion," said Rumfoord, "is The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent.

And what gift of America to the rest of the world is actually most appreciated by the rest of the world? It is African American jazz and its offshoots. What is my definition of jazz? Safe sex of the highest order.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

Music is, to me, proof of the existence of God.

Son--they say there isn't any royalty in this country, but do you want me to tell you how to be king of the United States of America? Just fall through the hole in a privy and come out smelling like a rose.