All the great story lines are great practical jokes that people fall for over and over again.

There is no good reason good can't triumph over evil, if only angels will get organized along the lines of the mafia.

Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do.

And what gift of America to the rest of the world is actually most appreciated by the rest of the world? It is African American jazz and its offshoots. What is my definition of jazz? Safe sex of the highest order.

Honest to God, Bill, the way things are going, all I can think of is that I'm a character in a book by somebody who wants to write about somebody who suffers all the time.

No good at life, but very funny sometimes with the commentary.

Poverty is a relatively mild disease for even a very flimsy American soul, but uselessness will kill strong and weak souls alike, and kill every time.