Maybe they invited me because they know I have a tuxedo

Most things in this world don´t work, aspirin do.

Literature is by definition opinionated. It is bound to provoke the arguments in many quarters, not excluding the hometown or even the family of the author.

What a bummer it is to be a human being.

Beer, of course, is actually a depressant, but poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

It's perfectly ordinary to be a socialist. It's perfectly normal to be in favor of fire departments.