I don't know what's going on, and I'm probably not smart enough to understand if somebody was to explain it to me. All I know is we're being tested somehow, by somebody or some thing a whole lot smarter than us, and all I can do is be friendly and keep calm and try and have a nice time till it's over.

Time is liquid. One moment is no more important than any other and all moments quickly run away.

Extenuating circumstance to be mentioned on Judgment Day: We never asked to be born in the first place.

The person who writes the bank's commercials is not the person who makes the loans.

What a bummer it is to be a human being.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

His response was to fight it with the only weapons at hand—passive resistance and open displays of contempt.