Some persons seem to like you, and others seem to hate you, and you must wonder why. They are simply liking machines and hating machines.

It seems to me that the most universal revolutionary wish now or ever is a wish for heaven, a wish by a human being to be honored by angels for something other than beauty or usefulness.

There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.

One thing in the Middlewest: If you're in my business you're aware of the low opinion both coasts have of the midlands. And that is quite mistaken. New York would be a Kokomo if it weren't for Middlewesterners coming there.

Characters paralyzed by the meaninglessness of modern life still have to drink water from time to time.

She was a dull person, but a sensational invitation to make babies.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.