Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

I learned how to make jokes because I wanted to give people as much fun as they did, and I guess I did, too.

Please — a little less love, and a little more common decency.

Did you ever admire an empty-headed writer for his or her mastery of the language? No. So your own winning style must begin with ideas in your head.

Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.

Pretend to be good always and even God will be fooled.

I'm so sorry - we had this cottage up in Lake Maxinkuckee, in Culver. I've thought so often of the poor Pottawattomies we took this land away from. They must have loved it so.