George Bush and his gang imagine they are being political geniuses.

Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

And we all vied, in saving face, to be the greatest student of human nature, the person with the quickest sense of humor.

We're terrible animals. I think that the Earth's immune system is trying to get rid of us, as well it should.

Ignore the awful times, and concentrate on the good ones.

That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes.

There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind.