My own feeling is that if adultery is wickedness then so is food. Both make me feel so much better afterward.

Terry Southern is the illegitimate son of Mack Sennett and Edna Saint Vincent Millay.

All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.

Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

A lack of seriousness has led to all sorts of wonderful insights.

I love you, Eliza,” I said. She thought about it. “No,” she said at last, “I don’t like it.” “Why not?” I said. “It’s as though you were pointing a gun at my head,” she said. “It’s just a way of getting somebody to say something they probably don’t mean. What else can I say, or anybody say, but, ‘I love you, too’?

I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, 'The Beatles did.