Where's evil? It's that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side.

Poverty is a relatively mild disease for even a very flimsy American soul, but uselessness will kill strong and weak souls alike, and kill every time.

There is no good reason good can't triumph over evil, if only angels will get organized along the lines of the mafia.

People need good lies. There are too many bad ones.

Women are so useless and unimaginative, aren't they? All they ever think of planting in the dirt is the seed of something beautiful or edible. The only missile they can ever think of throwing at anybody is a ball or a bridal bouquet.

Maybe they invited me because they know I have a tuxedo

What's the point of being alive," she said, "if you're not going to communicate?