The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.

It's incumbent on the President to entertain. Clinton did a better job of it - and was forgiven for the scandals, incidentally. Bush is entertaining us with what I call the Republican Super Bowl, which is played by the lower classes using live ammunition.

Most kids can't afford to go to Harvard to be misinformed.

Well, it's practically over, thank God - I'm 83, there won't be that much more of it to put up with I don't think!

egregious. most people think that word means terrible or unheard of or unforgivable. it has a much more interesting story than that to tell. it means "outside the herd." imagine that - thousands of people, outside the herd.

I hope that my ideas attract a lively dialogue, even if my sentences are simple. Simple sentences have always served me well. And I don't use semicolons. It's hard to read anyway, especially for high school kids. Also, I avoid irony, too. I don't like people saying one thing and meaning the other.

That is my principal objection to life, I think: It's too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes.