I'm not a drug salesman. I'm a writer.

I'm mad about being old and I'm mad about being American. Apart from that, OK.

Here is a les­son in writ­ing. First rule: Do not use semi­colons. They are trans­ves­tite her­maph­ro­dites rep­re­sent­ing absolutely noth­ing. All they do is show you've been to col­lege.

Thinking doesn't seem to help very much. The human brain is too high-powered to have many practical uses in this particular universe.

Ignore the awful times, and concentrate on the good ones.

He did not think of himself as a writer for the simple reason that the world had never allowed him to think of himself in this way.

The master of ceremonies asked people to say what they thought the function of the novel might be in modern society, and one critic said, “To provide touches of color in rooms with all-white walls.” Another one said, “To describe blow-jobs artistically.