Here is a les­son in writ­ing. First rule: Do not use semi­colons. They are trans­ves­tite her­maph­ro­dites rep­re­sent­ing absolutely noth­ing. All they do is show you've been to col­lege.

I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone.

I have had all I can stand of not taking myself seriously.

Son,' my father said to me, 'someday this will all be yours.

I had made her so unhappy that she had developed a sense of humor. [-Rabo Karabekian]

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.

I couldn't survive my own pessimism if I didn't have some kind of sunny little dream.