Trout was petrified there on Forty-second Street. It had given him a life not worth living, but I had also given him an iron will to live. This was a common combination on the planet Earth.

All right - I'll tell you what you did for me: you went for happy, silly, beautiful walks with me.

What made marriage so difficult back then was yet again that instigator of so many other sorts of heartbreak: the oversize brain.

Jokes have to be quite naked to be understood. They have to be quite simple.

I am the victim of a fortunate series of accidents.

Sons of suicides seldom do well.

Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.