Just because you can read, write and do a little math, doesn't mean that you're entitled to conquer the universe.

One [television] program was an interminable exploration of the question: can a woman with a low I.Q. be happily married to a man with a high one? The answer seemed to be yes and no.

I paraphrase Aristotle: If you want to be comical, write about people to whom the audience can feel superior; if you want to be tragical, write about at least one person to whom the audience is bound to feel inferior, and no fair having human problems solved by dumb luck or heavenly intervention.

All this happened, more or less. The war parts, anyway, are pretty much true.

Humor is an almost physiological response to fear.

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."

Unannounced changes in life's itinerary are like dancing lessons from God.