That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes.

I was hoping to build a country and add to its literature. That's why I served in World War II, and that's why I wrote books.

I saw the destruction of Dresden. I saw the city before and then came out of an air-raid shelter and saw it afterward, and certainly one response was laughter. God knows, that's the soul seeking some relief.

love is a hawk with velvet claws love is a rock with heart and veins love is a lion with satin jaws love is a storm with silken reins

What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn't get so mad at them.

Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.

It's an astonishing skill that people can read, and read well. Very few people can read well. For instance, I have to be very careful with irony, saying something while meaning the exact opposite.