Vietnam was a country where America was trying to make people stop being communists by dropping things on them from airplanes.

If Jesus was alive today, we would kill him with lethal injection. I call that progress. We would have to kill him for the same reason he was killed the first time. His ideas are just too liberal.

What everybody is well advised to do is to not write about your own life, this is if you want to write fast. You will be writing about your own life anyway but you won't know it.

[Ayres] was our city because we were building it. That's how I felt when I walked around town.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.

Here was what Kilgore Trout cried out to me in my father's voice: "Make me young, make me young, make me young!

Since there is no one else to praise me, I will praise myself -- will say that I have never tampered with a single tooth in my thought machine, such as it is. There are teeth missing, God knows -- some I was born without, teeth that will never grow. And other teeth have been stripped by the clutchless shifts of history -- But never have I willfully destroyed a tooth on a gear of my thinking machine. Never have I said to myself, 'This fact I can do without.