You should be careful about who you pretend to be, because who you pretend to be - is actually who you are!

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."

Most kids can't afford to go to Harvard to be misinformed.

I can see where influential people would like Maharishi better than Jesus. My God, if the Beatles and Mia Farrow went to Jesus, He'd tell them to give all their money away.

No matter how wonderful a sentence is, if it doesn't add new and useful information, it should be removed.

I think jokes are a perfectly viable form of literature. Some critics take issue with me because I make my points and discuss my ideas with jokes, rather than with oceanic tragedy.

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.