There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.

A lot of critics think I'm stupid because my sentences are so simple and my method is so direct: they think these are defects. No. The point is to write as much as you know as quickly as possible.

Tis better to have love and lust Than to let our apparatus rust.

It pains me even now, even a million years later, to write about such human misbehaviour. A million years later, I feel like apologizing for the human race. That’s all I can say.

Somebody gets into trouble, then gets out of it again. People love that story. They never get tired of it.

You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages--they haven't ended yet.