I think William Shakespeare was the wisest human being I ever heard of. To be perfectly frank, though, that's not saying much.

You know, I think the main purpose of the Army, Navy, and Marine Corps is to get poor Americans into clean, pressed, unpatched clothes, so rich Americans can stand to look at them.

Music is, to me, proof of the existence of God.

Educating a beautiful woman is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch: everything stops.

Only in books do we learn what’s really going on.

It's the writer's job to stage confrontations, so the characters will say surprising and revealing things, and educate and entertain us all.

You had to get everything exactly right or the editors would give you hell.