What a fool I would have been to let self-respect interfere with my happiness!

bergeron's epitaph for the planet, i remember, which he said should be carved in big letters in a wall of the grand canyon for the flying-saucer people to find was this: WE COULD HAVE SAVED IT, BUT WE WERE TOO DOGGONE CHEAP. only he didn't say "doggone.

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

Nietzsche had a little one-liner on how to choose a wife. He said, ''Are you willing to have a conversation with this woman for the next forty years?'' That's how to pick a wife.

I'm odd, I know,' he said. 'It's fear of myself that's made me odd.

Extenuating circumstance to be mentioned on Judgment Day: We never asked to be born in the first place.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.