That was what made them so hilarious and unafraid. That was the strength of the Nazis. [...] They understood God better than anyone. They knew how to make Him stay away.

Love is where you find it.

Vietnam was a country where America was trying to make people stop being communists by dropping things on them from airplanes.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.

Man is vile, and man makes nothing worth making, knows nothing worth knowing.

What has been America's most nurturing contribution to the culture of this planet so far? Many would say jazz. I, who love jazz, will say this instead: Alcoholics Anonymous.

Out in the world I go! Muggers! Autograph hounds! Junkies! People with real jobs! Maybe an easy lay! United Nation functionaries and diplomats!