That was my decision, so I have to be responsible for that. It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life and I don't have a good reason for why I wanted to come back, I don't have a good reason for doing it all.

My cocktail, so to speak, was only EPO, but not a lot, transfusions and testosterone.

It's frustrating in the sense that I still think I could be competing at some sport at a fairly high level, which nobody cares about. Nobody wants to hear me say that.

It's tougher for me. But I don't think that's imperative to me starting a new movement, or revive an old movement, to help people.

There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say: 'Enough is enough.'

Cancer taught me a plan for more purposeful living, and that in turn taught me how to train and to win more purposefully. It taught me that pain has a reason, and that sometimes the experience of losing things-whether health or a car or an old sense of self-has its own value in the scheme of life. Pain and loss are great enhancers.

What makes a great endurance athlete is the ability to absorb potential embarrassment, and to suffer without complaint.