The drinking was getting way out of control. I just didn't recognize myself anymore. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was. I always had to have some drinks with me in my bag. Just waking up shaking and then having Bloody Marys on your own, first thing in the morning-I started to feel really pathetic about it. So I was like, "I can't live like this." It was just this really awful feeling of becoming a totally different person and not being able to control it at all. Then I tried to not drink, but that didn't work. So I figured I should just go to rehab.

I was pretty self-conscious about my body because everybody kept going on like, "Oh, she's so curvy!" and "She's a plus-size model!" and this and that. It's all people would talk about - how I'm not very skinny. For a while, it made me pretty upset and I got a bit obsessive about it. I did a bunch of dieting and exercising and everything. I was losing weight, but I was still much bigger than everybody else. I didn't really see the point of making myself crazy anymore, so I kind of toned it down a little bit.

I love the traveling, of course. Not the flying, but the actual traveling.

We were talking about that actually - so many of the girls now, you don't really know any of them anymore. Me and Sasha Pivovarova were talking about it, about doing shows, and how we only know each other and a few other girls. Everyone gets replaced rather quickly in modeling.

I think people like it when you have a bit of personality.

I'm terrible in high heels. I'm so bad.

People found me ugly and weird looking. All those years of that whole insecurity thing just makes you feel horrible then really slowly you start to think if they can make me look nice in the picture then it's not that bad.