I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to be anywhere. I'm not kidding.

After ten or twelve years you can only play something so long and then you start to parody it.

I'm sure it is, I'm not for any kind of war, we've been engaged in several wars since the second world war and we lost in Korea, we lost in Vietnam, they are political wars, they have nothing to do with any real threat, nor does this one.

Well I think they broke the mould when they made me and being humble is one of my great assets.

Comedy is not funny. Comedy is hard work and timing and lots and lots of rehearsals.

I think JR would make a better President than the one we have now.

My credo is etched on my mirror in my bathroom and I see it when I brush my teeth in the morning. It says, "Don't worry, Be Happy, Feel Good." When you see that first thing, and you reflect on it, the rest of the day seems to glide by pretty well.