There's some entertainment value in watching people juggle nitroglycerin.

[Perl] gives you the STDERR filehandle so that your program can make snide comments off to the side while it transforms (or attempts to transform) your input into your output.

Think of prototypes as a funny markup language--the interpretation is left up to the rendering engine.

I'm just paid to do whatever I want to do. Some of the time it's development, and some of the time it's just goofing off.

Well, you can implement a Perl peek() with unpack('P',...). Once you have that, there's only security through obscurity.

True greatness is measured by how much freedom you give to others, not by how much you can coerce others to do what you want.

As pointed out in a followup, Real Perl Programmers prefer things to be visually distinct.