I'm more influenced by my own interests than anyone else's. Writers have to entertain themselves, or they can't entertain anyone else

Since you won't give me your names I'll call you Thing One and Thing Two.

one of the good things about being a woman is that my level of testosterone poisoning is lower than most men's.

Everything I needed was in my car, even the chickens

You cannot die of grief, though it feels as if you can. A heart does not actually break, though sometimes your chest aches as if it is breaking. Grief dims with time. It is the way of things. There comes a day when you smile again, and you feel like a traitor. How dare I feel happy. How dare I be glad in a world where my father is no more. And then you cry fresh tears, because you do not miss him as much as you once did, and giving up your grief is another kind of death.

All men love to talk about themselves, even the ones who are completely buggers.

Be nice, be nice, until it's time to stop being nice, then destroy them.