There had to be a circle of Hell where you were eternally fourteen, eternally in junior high. One of the lower circles.

There are only two kinds of vampire hunters: good ones and dead ones.

No, death hadn't changed [Willie] much. But just in case, I avoided looking directly into his eyes. It was standard policy for dealing with vampires. He was a slime bucket, but now he was an undead slime bucket.

I could have just said I'm good at my job, but I didn't. Didn't want the police thinking I was holding out information when I wasn't. "I've got one advantage over a normal homicide detective, I expect it to be a monster. No one ever calls me in if it's just a stabbing, or a hit-and-run. I don't spend a lot of time trying to come up with nice, normal explanations. It means I get to ignore a lot of theories.

I've been writing stories since I was 12. 'Writer's Digest' was one of my writing teachers, actually.

If you can't impress yourself, then no one else really matters.

Hatred makes us all ugly.