They be crazier than we are.

Never criticize, unless you can do a better job.

Men don't settle down because of the right woman. They settle down because they are finally ready for it. Whatever woman they're dating when they get ready is the one they settle down with, not necessarily the best one or the prettiest, just the one who happened to be on hand when the time got to be right. Unromantic, but still true.

If you’re alive, don’t move, if you’re dead, don’t worry about it.

Oh, ma petite, you are growing gargantuan." I looked at him and it was not a friendly look. "Never tease a woman about her weight, Jean-Claude. At least not an American twentieth-century one." He Spread his hands wide. "My deepest apologies." "When you apologize, try not to smile at the same time. It ruins the effect.

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.

I know you can throw holy water on the vampire, but I didn't know you could throw the host." (Sheriff St. John) I had to smile. "They aren't like little holy grenades. I want the host to give to the Quinlans so they can put one at every windowsill, every doorsill." (Anita Blake)